The UK version of a Kardashian, Princess Beatrice, has been been spotted taking to the water on Roman Abramovich’s £1 billion super yacht, Eclipse, which is docked off the Spanish coast near Ibiza. The Royal, who has racked up seventeen holidays in eight months since giving up her 20k a year role at Sony, began with a trip to see the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix back in November.

She has chalked up three skiing holidays on top of multiple hot weather breaks and repeated trips to New York where she visited her sister, Eugenie. In November, she visited the United Arab Emirates for a “business engagement” with her father, the Duke of York (1) that included a lavish party on board a Polynesian themed party yacht.

Later that same week, Beatrice flew to Beijing with her mother, Sarah Ferguson, for a wedding (2). After enjoying Christmas lunch with the Queen at Sandringham (3), Beatrice jetted off to Verbier to stay at her parents £13m ski chalet (4). She then flew off to the Caribbean where she saw in 2015 relaxing on a yacht belonging to billionaire Lakshmi Mittal (5).

Having made a quick trip back to London to hand in her resignation letter to Sony, she spent time on another yacht in the company of, among others, comedian Jimmy Carr. After a double holiday in the Caribbean, she took a trip to New York.

In February this year. Beatrice flew back to Verbier where she attended a St Valentines day party with her boyfriend in the company of Prince Harry and Princess Eugenie (6). She then went off for another skiing holiday, this time in Colorado where all four dined with US investor, Jerry Murdock who helped land her boyfriend with a plum job at taxi firm Uber.

In April, Beatrice went back to her parents place in Verbier. After spending a short time with them, she clearly felt that she needed another break from all the hard work. So she decided to fly out to Florida for her twelve holiday in five months (7).

Beatrice was subsequently spotted in the Gulf State of Bahrain as a guest of it’s Prince (8), whose father helped put down pro-democracy protests. So nice people to hang out with!.

In May, she flew to Florence (9) before jetting off for her third Caribbean jaunt where she was photographed lounging on a beach in Great Guana Cay (10) that’s home to just 150 people. It is also blessed with a five and a half mile stretch of sandy white beach, virgin forest, pristine coral reefs and beach-bloated, useless minor Royals with no taste, too much money and a hugely inflated opinion of themselves.

Isn’t it about time, dear reader, that all mainstream media outlets began to ask searching questions about the activities of the benefit scroungers at Buckingham Palace? They might begin by asking how a man with a modest naval pension can afford a £13m property and pay for regular private jet flights?

“The Royal Family is still guarding secrets that we the people should know about”, says the Guardian.(11).Three guesses as to where they get all of the cash to fund their extravagant lifestyles from. Answers on a post card.